A Betchy， unfiltered ranking of The Oscars leading girlies

Grab your popcorn

Betches sent this email to their subscribers on March 8, 2024.

We all know that the Oscars and Golden Globes are rigged, so the only important ranking is in Betchiness. I don’t really care about how well the actresses’ managed to fake cry, as each year features the same people. It’s always an Emma, Emily, or Anne. Instead,I’d rather talk about the characters and how much they managed to gaslight, gatekeep, and girlboss.

YOUR GUIDE TO...

A Betchy, Unfiltered Ranking Of The Oscars Leading Girlies

Image: OW Films/Amazon MGM/ Searchlight

I get my life advice from unhinged female characters, so I need to know just how psychotic I should be in 2024. To help with this,here’s a betchy and unfiltered ranking of the Oscars leading girls. Including the girlies that weren’t mentioned in the Oscars but fucking should have been, thanks to it being run by MEN.

LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX

Sex And Dating Advice From "Sex And The City" I'd Actually Follow

I\xa0grew up watching\xa0Sex and the City\xa0with my older sister in a household where we did\xa0nottalk about sex. So I think it’s safe to say that whatever I heard Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, or Samantha say felt like the secrets to the universe.

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To save you from the potential disaster and ruin that following all of the show’s rules will cause you, here’s some qualitySATC sex & relationship advice\xa0that might actually do you some good.\xa0

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It's Time To Update Your Makeup Routine

In partnership withNYX

Image: NYX/Betches

Classic me: I think my makeup looks good until I remember I’m the same person who applied my makeup during high school… Luckily, I can break old habits 💁\u200d♀️ It’s time to upgrade my makeup routine. Catch me neverrr forgetting to include SPF again, becauseI’m using NYX Cosmetics’ Blurscreen– which doubles as a blurring primer AND sunscreen. Hello blurred and protected skin! It’s so moisturizing and with SPF 30 I’m good to go on my hot girl walk to work, without fearing those pesky UVA rays. Get your hands onNYX Cosmetics’ Blurscreen SPF 30 Primertoday.\xa0

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IN THE KNOW

Camila Cabello Spilled All The Deets On Shawn Mendes... And Drake

I have two Roman Empires: Camila Cabello’s Coachella reunion night with Shawn Mendes\xa0and her vacation photos with Champagne Papi. As a Harmonizer turned Camilizer, I’ve spent a large percentage of my life listening to this woman’s flawless pop music and watching her iconic interviews and performances.\xa0

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So, why did Camila and Shawn break up\xa0— and, uh, is she dating Drake??

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Here’s\xa0all the tea she spilled on Call Her Daddy.

BETCH DRESSED

Millie Bobby Brown Inventing The New Spring Uniform

Image:Getty

Listen up, spring is literally two weeks away which means we all need to start thinking about our spring wardrobes. But, we should consider taking a page out of\xa0Millie Bobby Brown’s street styleconsidering layering is going to be key. Not a single person enjoys either A) being cold in the morning because they aren’t wearing a jacket or, B) sweating their ass off by noon because they’re wearing a sweater. It’s the most awkward time of year to get dressed but there are ways of getting around it. And thanks to Millie Bobby Brown, I’m actually looking forward to dressing this spring? (Never thought I’d say that.) Read on to get her effortless spring uniform:\xa0

Graba skirt with some lengthto cover up in case it’s chilly but you aren’t confined to jeans which makes things slightly more ~airy~ as the weather heats up
Add a pop of color —a good quality t-shirtwill literally never steer you wrong.
Find aneveryday jacket with a little edgeto add some personality and keep you warm when the sun isn't out.

P.S. Check outMillie Bobby Brown's full look breakdown.

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