Swiftie community check-in: How ya’ll doin? Answer: Not well, bitch!!! Swifties aren't eating, sleeping, or doing real jobs this week ahead of\xa0The Tortured Poets Department\xa0release. We have theories to obsess over, tissues to buy, rage to build, and Easter eggs to crack open. We have officially left the\xa0Lover\xa0house and entered the psych ward.Let’s get into decoding every single inch of the\xa0TTPD\xa0library. |
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A Tortured Swiftie Decodes 'The Tortured Poet's Department' Pop-Up Library |
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I'm Really Confident In My Predictions About Who's Leaving 'VPR' |
We don’t know\xa0everything about the Vanderpump Rules season 11 reunion, but we do know the group will never be the same. Rumors of a historic showdown between Ariana and Lala at the reunion, plus evidence of the\xa0growing turmoil between Lala and Katieduring the season, topped off by the 24/7 tension caused by the worm with a mustache constantly worming have led me to one very obvious conclusion: The current group is not sustainable. Meaning, somebody doesn’t have to go home, but they gotta the hell out of here. If we’re keeping it a buck fifty, the entire series was on the chopping block prior to Scandoval rewiring our collective brain chemistry, but the adrenaline from the unhinged betrayal could only last so long. \xa0 I’m as thirsty for conflict as the next Bravoholic, but the current set-up showcases far too little camaraderie, and dare I add, tomfoolery, to justify low vibrational group interactions like an aimless water-tasting washed down by Domino’s pizza.\xa0Here are some specific predictions as to who will leave\xa0VPR\xa0season 12\xa0(if I’m right, give me my flowers. If I’m wrong, I’m just a girl). |
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Smells Like the Vacation YouReallyNeed In partnership withSol de Janeiro |
Listen, we know spring break isn’t a thing anymore, but we need SOME excuse to feel like summer is coming! How else would we get through the day? Luckily, Sol de Janeiro’s Cheirosa 62 Perfume Mist makes us feel like we’re sunbathing on a sunny beach in Brazil, even if we’re rotting at our desk. It’s simple: spray it on from head to toe (don’t be shy!) and let the cheerful scent whisk your worries away and replace them with a pep in your step. As our current go-to, Cheirosa 62 is a luscious blend of pistachio, salted caramel, and vanilla that instantly delivers a serotonin boost. Plus, when you feel good, you look good. Romanticize your daily routine by adding a scent you can’t get enough of.Find the Perfume Mist that sends you to your happy place atsoldejaneiro.com.\xa0\xa0\xa0\xa0 |
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Pop Culture Sexual Awakenings That Still Haunt Us |
If I’ve learned anything from the internet, it’s that I’ve\xa0never had a unique experience in my life.\xa0We’ve all thirsted for a certain sparkly vampire, wanted someone to push us against a wall like Noah and Ally in\xa0The Notebook, and secretly read a chapter from their mom’s copy of\xa050 Shades of Grey.\xa0 \xa0 In an effort to be unbiased, I polled the\xa0Betches\xa0office to discover our shared deepest, darkest (horniest) secrets and the thirst traps that we return to again and again. If you desperately want to believe you’re not like other girls, I’m here to pop your bubble. Let’s dig into the\xa0pop culture sexual awakenings\xa0that still haunt us. |
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The *Leaked* Episodes Of Meghan Markle’s New Netflix Show\xa0 |
After Meghan Markle did us all a favor by finally proving that not\xa0every\xa0celebrity under the sun can have a successful\xa0podcast, she’s now showing us that the gears are still turning in what’s left of her brain. (Remember, this is the woman who has been so mentally fucked by the psychological warfare of The Firm that she once attempted to transcribe her involuntary\xa0guttural noises\xa0to a journalist at\xa0The Cut).\xa0Not only has the former Duchess announced her own stab at a Goop empire with\xa0American Riviera Orchard, a lifestyle brand that will attempt to sell us ancient grain facial scrubs and \\$69 jars of lemon preserves, she is also working to make good on her lucrative yet stagnant overall with Netflix. \xa0 Meghan Markle’s new series\xa0will “celebrate the joys of cooking, gardening, entertaining, and friendship,” which really feels like her team had already asked to extend her proposal deadline twice and this was the best they could come up with.\xa0As we brim with anticipation, let’s take a look at\xa0Meghan’s *leaked* episode topic brainstorm, straight from the bowels of her Notes App.\xa0\xa0 |
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