An Important Message For All Taxpayers

cha-ching!

Shinesty sent this email to their subscribers on April 16, 2024.

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Treat Yo'Self On Tax Day

First off, if you are just hearing today is tax day...stop reading this and file for an extensionhereimmediately.

For everyone else, if you are not spending your tax refund on something below you might as well invest in a cemetery plot or a Kickstarter product: two things you'll never enjoy while alive.\xa0

1) Walk Alone Metal Detector Sandals

You will never get laid again, but nothing fills the void of love like collecting old wedding rings, keys to a 1999 Geo Tracker, and the occasional gold tooth.

Booty Or Bullion

2) Send a Bag of Dicks to the IRS

Getting a \\$20 check from the IRS is like a 1-minute sexual encounter. You still get some, but it could have been a lot better. Since you did all that work for practically nothing, here is your chance to tell them how you really feel. Here's its address:

Department of the Treasury
Internal Revenue Service Center
Austin, TX 73301-0215

Don't Worry, It's Sent Anonymously

3) Invest in a Lifetime Supply of Lube

If this ISN’T a lifetime supply of lube, then we salute you.

Wet Your Whistle

4) Ride The Sumo Tube

Nothing quite like hot, nasty speed to bring in Summer. Ideally, you drive the boat while your friends get dragged behind and swallow half of Lake Powell.\xa0

Has Anyone Seen My Shoulders?