Memo To All Employees: Confidential Announcement

For Internal Use Only

Shinesty sent this email to their subscribers on January 27, 2024.

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From The Reinforced Desk Chair Of Frankie Lapenna

TESTING. TESTING. Test. Test(icles).

Hear Ye Hear Ye Employees:\xa0

Frankie here, your Chief ASSet officer. This is the first email I’ve ever sent and I don’t like it (I already forgot my email password and don’t feel like resetting it).
Effective Immediately (part 1)-\xa0 we are going back to AOL Instant Messenger. It works better (add me asb!gjoocyb88ty69).

\xa0

Anyways… effective immediately (part 2), our revolutionary Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear will no longer be known as “Ball Hammocks.” I’m changing the name to…

BUTT HAMMOCKS

DO NOT RELEASE LOGO

*I made this in ClipArt with the little paper clip guy. Art bois/girls, please make s3xier & joocier.*

Supporting balls is great, but the more impressive feat is our underwear can support the 2 Christmas hams I smuggle in my pants.

We’ve all got butts - nice ones. From now on, ALL of our underwear will be called Butt Hammocks. This will instantly double our customer base. And as your Chief ASSet Officer, it’s my job to make our company’s bottom line as juicy as my own.

With this, I need someone to test discount code internally before we open the flood gates to the mASSes.

CODE:BUTTHAMMOCKS69
*disclaimer - it’s 15% off, not 69% off. 69 just has a ring to it.