Welcome to The Borowitz Report

Just in time for the election， The Borowitz Report is now a free， independent newsletter.

The New Yorker sent this email to their subscribers on March 19, 2024.

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Welcome to The Borowitz Report

Just in time for the election, The Borowitz Report is now a free, independent newsletter.

Mar 19

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“There is no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.” —Will Rogers\xa0 \xa0

Hello!

If you’re meeting me for the first time, I’m Andy Borowitz, a writer and comedian. I live in New Hampshire with my wife, daughter, and dog, a goldendoodle named Cookie. I’m not posting a photo of Cookie because if I did you’d want to subscribe to his newsletter instead of mine.

I’ve been writing satirical news since I was eighteen. This represents either commitment to a genre or arrested development.

In high school, I became editor of the newspaper solely because it produced an annual April Fool’s issue. Later, as president ofThe Harvard Lampoon, I published parodies of the college newspaper, which got me hauled into the office of Dean Archie C. Epps III, which was his actual name.

For the next two decades, I took a break from news satire while I waited for the Internet to be invented. Then, in 2001, I started emailing made-up news stories to friends. One suggested that creating a “website” would make it easier to “blast” my “posts.” Soon, The Borowitz Report was live at BorowitzReport.com, and my free newsletter was reaching untold dozens of people.

I thought that the column would be a fun pastime and might entertain my friends. But they shared my posts with their friends, and the newsletter attracted more subscribers.

In 2012 The Borowitz Report moved toThe New Yorker, which published it for the next eleven years. The column acquired readers around the world, including in the Chinese media, who believed a story I published about Donald Trump wrapping the White House’s phones in tinfoil.

Now, just in time for the 2024 election, The Borowitz Report is once again an independent newsletter. You’ll receive every Borowitz Report\xa0via email—not just the headline, but the entire story—for free.

But wait! There’s more.

Introducing:
The Total Borowitz Report Experience

In the words of the eminent historian Doris Kearns Goodwin, “The 2024 campaign promises to be a total shitshow.” Actually, Doris didn’t say that. I did. But Doris is super-smart, so I’m sure she’d agree with me.

How will we endure 2024? For some of you, alcohol will be the answer. For others, edibles. But I’m offering a remedy that’s considerably cheaper and has provoked no warnings from the World Health Organization: The Total Borowitz Report Experience.

By upgrading your free subscription to The Total Experience, you’ll get subscriber-only content and live events including online Q and As with me, plus access to the entire Borowitz Report archives. Best of all, you’ll become a member of the Borowitz Report community, enabling you to comment on my posts and interact with other community members in a troll-free environment.